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Relationship Problems

The eight most common relationship issues and how to move past them

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Experiencing relationship problems?!

While every marriage is unique, most couples do face similar issues as they build lives together. No one enters a marriage knowing exactly how to be a perfect partner to their spouse; it’s a learning process for everyone. How you learn – and how you learn together – can build a foundation that’s not only strong, but lasting.

If your goal is to build a marriage that’s not only durable but thriving to boot, learning to navigate these top relationship problems successfully with your spouse can be the difference between a good marriage and a great one.

1.    Money

Arguments about money aren’t really about money, according to leading marriage researchers from The Gottman Institute. If you find yourself arguing with your partner about spending or saving, ask yourself if the disagreement might truly be about something else. Often, money disagreements can be about hopes and dreams for the future, or represent power dynamics or insecurities in your relationship.

2.    Communication

In today’s ever-connected world, communication seems easy. Yet it can often be a challenge for couples to talk in meaningful ways about the things they find important.

Stumped on how to have healthy discussions on things big and small? Start with relationship counseling app Lasting’s assessment of your communication skills and styles to learn how to move forward in discussing bigger issues together.

3.    Household Responsibilities

It’s often said women often take on the unpaid, emotional labor in marriages, but in strong relationships, both partners are happy with the way responsibilities are allocated in their home. Writing out together what the responsibilities are, and who will be in charge of completing them, is a good first step recommended by The Gottman Institute.

4.    Conflict

In a survey of 130,000 married people, relationship counseling app Lasting found that 76.6% of men and 79.4% of women were not satisfied with how they dealt with conflict in their marriage. Every couple has disagreements, but happy couples deal with conflict in vastly different ways than unhappy ones.

Happy marriages have a ratio of five positive interactions to every one negative interaction, according to Lasting, and happy couples take care to start conversations gently. The app’s series on conflict helps couples learn how to change their conflict habits, step by step.

5.    Sex

Disagreements over both quantity and quality of your sex life can be a difficult discussion for couples to have. Part of a happy marriage means creating a sex life that satisfies both partners, building an emotional connection between you, and knowing how to start those conversations together.

6.    Trust

Many marriages struggle with trust issues, and building or rebuilding trust is a process that can take years – but take heart, it is possible, according to research. The Gottman Institute identifies skills like empathy and compassion as essential in building a relationship centered on trust, and like any essential skill, these are things that can be vastly improved with practice, once you know how.

7.    Connection

Only 34 percent of married people surveyed by Lasting believed their marriage had a healthy emotional connection. Key to building a stronger bond is understanding your each other’s “emotional calls”, or how you and your partner request each other’s attention and time in order to connect.

With regular practice, it’s possible to improve skills like listening, validating emotions, and asking open-ended questions that lead to a deeper, more satisfying emotional connection with your partner.

8.    Safety

Healthy couples don’t emotionally, verbally, or physically abuse one another, and all instances of abuse should be taken extremely seriously. Seek immediate help from the National Domestic Violence Hotline if this is your situation.

Learn more about how to strengthen your relationship with Lasting, the no. 1 relationship counseling app. The app creates a customized program for you and your partner, helps solve recurring relationship problems, and gives tools for strengthening already healthy habits in your marriage.